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A Holistic Appraoch

I am so excited for this weekend. As I write this I am sitting in my seat at the I Can Do It 2013 speakers series being held at the Queen Elizabeth Theater in Vancouver.

The week after Emily embarked on the Ketogenic Diet, I had a day to myself and spent it on the beach watching my friends play volleyball followed by an enjoyable evening of good food and wine. To be honest, I felt guilty about leaving Mike at home to “do the food” and was worried I shouldn’t be enjoying myself.

Upon speaking with one of my friends there she asked lots and lots of questions about Emily’s epilepsy and the new diet we had embarked on. I am happy to have have spoken with her that evening since she took the chance to recommend a book she thought might be very useful for me and Emily during this journey. The author is an amazing lady by the name of Louise Hay and the book she recommended was You Can Heal Your Life. Reading that book made a profound impact on the journey of navigating our new life with a child with a chronic illness. I became almost obsessed with learning about Louise and was thrilled when I found out her speakers series was coming to Vancouver.

One of the profound implications I realized upon reading her book, almost immediately, was that Emily’s epilepsy has created a condition for our family to heal our life. This journey wasn’t just about getting her medication or a diet that would stop her seizures. It wasn’t just about going to doctor appointments and getting tests. What I found was true for our family, was that it was about looking at every aspect of our life and being able to be honest about what was working and what wasn’t working; it was about breaking our lives open and being willing to find the cracks in the foundation and figuring out how to mend them; or better yet, to build a new foundation that wouldn’t have cracks.

There are many things I have uncovered in what has been a short journey so far. I know there are many more things that are still waiting to be uncovered. I’m going to share with you one of the many, yet probably the most important discovery I have yet made.

Slow down!!! For most of my life, and for all of Emily’s short little life, I have been busy rushing; rushing to the next big thing that I placed undue importance on. Rushing to grow up, to move out, to finish university, to climb the corporate ladder, to make more money to provide all the things rushed families provide their kids in lieu of the one thing they really need: love…spelt by a child as T I M E.

Now I’m not saying (100%) that Emily’s epilepsy was caused because we had a rushed life and not enough time. What I am saying though, is that her epilepsy became the “voice” I heard asking me, pleading with me and then pretty much YELLING at me to slow down, enjoy time and give my child the most precious gift of love there is to give; my time.

In closing, I want to share with you something that Dr Wayne Dyer said today…”true nobility is not in being better than everyone else, or having more than everyone else, it’s in being better than you were yesterday”. I can truly say, that I am fortunate and lucky that I am better today than I was yesterday.

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In The Begining

No parent or family can ever be prepared for the news that their child has been diagnosed with a chronic illness.  We can read all the parenting books we like, we can go to as many mommy groups as we can squeeze into the precious time we have, we can investigate everything that will impact our children from the pre-school we chose, to the food they eat, but we can never prepare for a doctor telling us that our child is “broken”.

I remember back to September 2011 when we first became aware that Emily, or precious, sweet little 6-year-old daughter had this “thing” called Epilepsy.  We arrived early at the BC Children’s Hospital, to meet with the doctor.  We had done our research and thought we had the answers.  The first thing the doctor asked was “what do you know about Emily’s seizures”…to which I so naively answered “well I know it’s not epilepsy.”  There was a silence in the room…the doctor looked up at me and said “actually that is not correct, Emily’s seizures are epileptic”.

I don’t remember much of what she said after that.  I was in shock.  How is it possible, that me, a university educated, smart person, who had combed Google searching for answers, actually came to the conclusion that Emily’s seizures were not Epilepsy?  It didn’t make sense.  I can remember the conversation moving from “what causes this?”…”we have no idea, it is idiopathic in nature” to “this is strange that your pediatrician would prescribe her this drug therapy only once a day, we ordinarily prescribe this three times per day”.  Well, that certainly was reassuring to know, since when we filled the prescription, the first thing the Pharmacist said was “Huh, that’s strange, I wonder why your doctor is prescribing THIS drug”.  It also explained why our daughter had suddenly become a walking zombie!!

And so began our journey in navigating the mystery of our daughters new diagnosis.  It wasn’t until the following summer, after many bumps in the road, which I will share with you along the way, that we actually discovered that our daughter had, what the government would classify as a “chronic illness”.   No one mentioned to us that along with these seizures that were captivating her small little body, that there were a host of side-effects such as learning delays, personality changes etc…

As I stumbled through this period of uncertainty, a period with more questions than answered, the one thing I yearned for was just one person who understood what it was I was going through, what I was feeling.  Someone who could and would guide me to uncovering the answers and energy I needed to get through those days that seemed so discouraging.

I was lucky to start working with a Life Coach shortly after our family’s journey began.  I didn’t start working with my coach with the intention of using his services to help me navigate this new aspect of my life, but ultimately, being the great coach that he is, I did use him and he helped me tonnes.  He helped me step back and get perspective.  He helped me implement systems that kept me organized and sane.  He helped me learn to create the environments that I needed in my life to manage this situation like an expert, as if I had done this before.

Our journey is far from over.  Emily still HAS epilepsy and we are reminded of the fact that she lives with a chronic illness each day when we ensure she takes her medication and spend countless hours preparing her food for the Ketogenic diet.  It hasn’t been easy, and just recently I had to fight through my tears and find the humor in her view-point when she said “mommy, daddy, out of all the tests I have had, I think the MRI is the best!  Do you know I got to watch a Barbie movie!!!”  This, coming from child who has had more blood work done than I can count, countless EEG’s and a spinal tap that landed her in the hospital for five days, missing the last days of grade 1.

Please be sure to visit the site often to take part as we tell our story and share our secrets to our success.  Check out my coaching page and decide if coaching might be a great solution for you and/or your family.